Different Understandings About Commitment

in Commitment

Commitment seems to be a significant word. When it literally indicates something bad, people are often fearful of using it. However, it's surprising that people nowadays use the word with totally different understanding and meanings.

 

When I met my wife, she told me her about her ex of almost a year. They had been "on/off" for most of their relationship and the main reason was that he would not commit. He lost a beautiful woman and the chance of a wonderfully harmonious life within a beautiful family, and all because he would not show her that he was serious about their relationship. Is it worth that?

What does commitment mean: The state of being bound emotionally or intellectually to a course of action or to another person or persons. There you go - it really is that simple.

 

A lot of people, especially men (I'm sorry to say) see commitment as a loss of freedom, and that is so wrong. Simply put by committing to somebody, you are merely saying that you will share with them, everything that life throws. It does not necessarily mean love, it does not mean having children, it does not mean submitting to anothers whims - it just means being solely WITH somebody.

 

We are all committed to our work (those of us who want to be successful at what we do anyway) - we go every day without fail, we work hard at what we do. At work we are paid in hard cash for our commitment to our jobs. Those of us solidly committed may also see other rewards like raises and promotions. Feels good doesn't it?

 

But what about a relationship? No payment - so what is the point? Someone who is committed to a relationship is rewarded in a way that makes them richer than anyone with money. Commitment to another person gives rewards far beyond financial gain. It rewards you with love, loyalty and respect. As a man if you commit to a woman - you are not saying I will be your slave, I will not go out again, I will do as you say etc. You are purely saying - I will respect you, I will love you, I will share my achievements with you, I will share my disappointments too, I will listen to you, and I will share my opinions and advice with you. Emotional and intellectual.

 

My wife and I are committed to each other and the children, and we are also committed to our friendships. This means that my wife is free to enjoy time with her friends, just as I am. With commitment comes trust and it is that trust in each other that allows freedom within the commitment. So commitment is not the same as doing time in prison, it is just about doing time with one person and only that person. By abusing the freedom afforded by the trust, you break the commitment and therefore were either not ready for it or did not appreciate what it meant or what you had.

 

This lesson was learned the hard way - don't let that happen to you.

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Dale Preece-Kelly has 1 articles online

With best wishes for a great life with that one person

Dale Preece-Kelly

More at http://www.selfhope.co.uk

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Different Understandings About Commitment

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This article was published on 2010/07/28
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